Hitch

There were that many parked at the Oak last night for our regular Sunday night concert, that I could not get in the car park. I had to park about half a mile down the road and get a taxi in!!! (only joking about that last part.) It was a full house with standing room only, which was great to see and provided a great atmosphere. We should get back to our regular concerts after next Sunday so just check the web site and come and see us.

Sandal in the bin

I have so much material that I use to front the Band now, that I am having to edit and cut some stuff out. There are jokes and links that go back for many years and have served their purpose. There is one joke that I will always remember. You could hear tumble weed going across the stage it was so bad , but unless you try them out, you will never know. Most of the jokes are tried out on the poor suffering audiences at the Oak, Also I try them on my partner, and if I get a slight titter, then I know it is going to be a great gag! The great thing about the OBB is the amount of characters we have in the Band. Thankfully they don't mind me drawing on their personalities and traits, which also makes them well known to our regular audiences. Be it short, bald, old or poor we have them all in the Band, which makes it a real close family outfit. Long live the OBB.

Lightning

How is this for service. My new rower was missing a bolt, a quick e mail to the catalogue store and a couple of days later a knock on my door, and a personal delivery from the manager. Well impressed, plus no more of getting gonads trapped in mechanism.....oh joy. Lightning

Oxford

Feel as though I have completed the course of the Boat Race this week on my new rower, whilst in truth I have probably covered the distance of my local duck pond? It's hard to believe that once I ran every day, completed half marathons and took part in the Dutch Marches completing 42 miles in 12 hours in full kit (I still have the medal to prove it) it is so easy to get out of the routine of doing these things. As is practicing I suppose, and I have to make myself do it every day when possible. If I won the lottery I would not be extravagant but would move, to a detached cottage by the sea. Have a music room where I don't annoy the neighbours , my own Gym and have a top of the range Chrysler Cruiser, but my real treat would be to have a dog. Then again if I had all these things, I would have nothing to dream about would I. Might have a word with Roy the Wallet and ask him if I can borrow a fiver. It's not that I need the money, but I like to see the shock on his face as he puts another padlock on his purse!!

Hat on

A touch of spring in the air at long last. Great to see the sun it makes you feel so much better. So much so that I was singing along with my MP3 player, when I was cleaning the Limo, however my work mates did not seem to appreciate my dulcet tones the heathens, oh well back to the bone.

Bin

Although this is supposed to be a diary of a Big Band Musician, it is also touches on day to day happenings in my job as well.
A few months ago I part arranged a Funeral for someone. Whilst sat in the office it was remarked that the table was dusty in the crevices and I should use an old paint brush to get in there? Professionally I agreed, and when they had left, carried out this task. After the Funeral took place, the person mentioned above, then happened to mention that they could not afford to pay for the Funeral!!! (This happens more frequently than you imagine) Forward in time to the present day, and my colleague was arranging a Funeral. Different person, but I just overheard them say.....that table is dusty, you should go around it with a duster!!!! Now you can maybe guess what is coming....yes they can't afford to pay for the Funeral. Sorry got to say it...'I don't believe it' Is there some spiritual connection with dust and empty wallets? If people really knew what our job 's involved they would be horrified, and dusting wasn't in the criteria. Anyway back to music. Played last night, and very enjoyable to sit next to a guy on 3rd, who is really a Bass bone player. Had a couple of solo's including Lonesome Road which I have not played in ages. Anyway must go now and dust my Trombone!!!!!!!!!!

There goes my only possession

Amazing what a couple of days off work can do for you. Almost a spring in my step this morning. British Summer time begins next weekend, and I have just thought how unfair it is ,that the clocks go forward ,when you have time off? So I reckon we should all petition the government to put the clocks forward about 2pm on a Friday afternoon? Much Better. Made a mental note yesterday not to use my new rowing machine whilst just wearing shorts...ouch.

Long in the tooth

You know I might as well become Victor Meldrew!!! I have been to a well known catalogue store today to buy a rowing machine to add to my home Gym stuff (According to BUPA I am officially chubby) This is a heavy item so took my car around the back to collect it. When they opened the doors the box looked as though it had been opened, but I never thought any more of it as I risked another hernia lifting it into the car. Of course the assembly instructions required a degree in quantum physics to understand, and on opening the box, it was obvious that the items had been opened. Not relishing the thought of trying to get the rower back, I proceeded to assemble it. After about an hour and a half all was going well, and I had only cut myself twice. The last piece to fit was the easiest, or at least would have been if an essential bolt wasn't missing!!! I mean why could it not have been the first item ,when I could have spotted it? So all I say is 'I don't believe it'!!!!

Hi Ho Silver Lining

Flipping must be bored. My partner is away over Easter and I am at a loose end. Actually practiced twice today so I must be short of things to do. I was thinking today of a pop group I used to be in in the 70s. It was called Onkas Big Mocka Band, and it did covers of songs like Johnny be Good and Long Train Running etc. My Dad hated me being in it because I was in the middle of an Engineering Apprenticeship, and often would not get in from a gig until 2 or 3 in the morning. One particular gig was in Skegness. We had our own roadie and band wagon with crew seats. The gig finished at 11am on a Sunday night. We hit the road at about 11.30am and all but the driver fell asleep. I woke at about 1am thinking we must be near home. However the driver had lost his way and could not find the right road out of Skeggie, and we had been travelling in circles for an hour and a half (I think the driver like wackie Backie) I got home about 4am and my Dad was livid as I had to be up at 6am for work experience. Ah sex drugs and Rock and Roll ( well 1 out of 3 wasn't bad)

On yer bike

Some shed time with my Dad this morning, putting the world to rights. We were talking about our old house where I grew up in as a kid. Although it has extremely painful memories for me, I would love to go and look around the garden and see if it has changed. It is strange that in that street, they have knocked down and rebuilt new houses, apart from 4 houses, one of which was where I lived. When we moved 4 miles away, I still had to catch a bus then walk 2 miles to school? and there is another talking point me thinks about kids and parents of today. Ah progress.

Cockles

How come that when it is a day off you work twice as hard doing those tasks you have kept putting off. Into town today to buy a picture to hide the hole that my lovely Cockatiel has eaten in the wall paper (it's quicker than decorating) Then to the refuse tip with loads of things that I thought I would need one day, but never have. I love my gadgets, and one of the items I took was an illuminated moving seascape picture. This was snapped up by one of the Refuse workers and will no doubt take pride of place on his wall. He is welcome to it though as when it is switched on it creaks and groans as the motor drives the hidden mechanics, and will no doubt drive him round the bend, as indeed ,it did me. Made up for it though by buying an Oil painted Seascape (you may have gathered I love the sea) and haggling with the shopkeeper to a lower price. Fact is not many people haggle these days, and in fact you can do it in any shop for any item if you are cheeky enough? Or am I just tight!!!!

Chips

One of our guys at work is very ingenious. He has 2 Goldfish. He has gave them both names. He has called one fish 'One' and the other fish is called 'Two' So if 'One' fish dies, then he still has 'Two left'!!!!! Clever these Undertakers you know. I intend to sit down over Easter and really get to grips with new bone. I will fit this in between all the jobs that I have been meaning to do, and not got around to (like dusting. I only dust when the ornaments fall over) and other household tasks. Within this time frame I also have to fit in copious amounts of Budweiser.........Happy Easter.

Rugby

My new bone seems to be blowing in nicely and is very responsive, which has really surprised me after such a short time. Seeing that I live life! thinking my glass is half empty, this will probably be the kiss of fate now and I wont be able to get a note out of it. I should have changed to a smaller bore instrument years ago, as it would have made life much more easier, but then again I like a challenge. I said on my first CD that 'I don't do jazz' and I still don't really, but I have, and always will give it a go, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but ain't that life?

Parliament

I received my copy of the soundtrack to Atonement today. I always seem to hear one track on the radio and buy the album on the basis of that one tune. Invariably the rest of the album can turn out to be not as good. This is where the MP3 player comes in. I spent some time last night going through my CD collection and downloading my favourite tracks onto it. My partner is lucky that she has an MP3 socket in her car, so can listen through her radio, so I will have to discreetly plug mine in on long journeys!!! and I can bet that mine would only last a few seconds before she throws it out the window lol.

Liquorice stick

A strange night at the Oak last night as the P.A system decided it would crackle very loudly for the first part of the evening. This was soon sorted out by Dave the Keys and the Band continued unruffled!!! we are very fortunate to have a top class player in Dave the Sax (yes all the Band are really called Dave) who's Alto and Clarinet playing is of a professional standard. His tribute to Benny Goodman last night, was flawless and Benny would have been proud of him. My new bone is starting to bed in nicely, but I have found myself polishing it before I put it away...I am sure this is a habit I will soon get out of, after I get my first dent.

Allotment

Well a good friend sorted out my new Broadbean service, and it is now running superbly. I have a Jazz channel playing through my PC in the background, and it has opened a whole new world. On a down side, I am feeling extremely flat at this time, and I know it is due to the recent bereavement. We went to a Garden Centre today, that all of us used to visit, and it was really difficult and did not feel right at all. I wish I had some answers to why these things happen to good people?

Detechtive

I went out today and purchased a very expensive high speed cable for my new Broadbean service!!! Of course it took me ages to fix it all up, only to find out it did not work. What did we do before computers? Anyway I have called for the PC doctor again to see if he will sort me out. I want to tear my hair out, but haven't got any spare.

Progress

I will make this short as I have just entered the world of Broadband, and it's confusing at the moment because now my phone doesn't work grrrr. back soon

Farewell

We could have a very exciting job later this year, when a B17 Flying Fortress is flown from the USA over to the UK. Watch this space for more details. Today we carried out the Funeral of another musician. Out of respect, I carried out the Last Offices for this Gentleman. We carried him in to 'In The Mood' played on CD by another local Band he was a member of. It was also very moving to see members of the Emergency Services, who he was a member of, turn out to pay their last respects. Another fine musician playing in the Big Band in the Sky.

Coffin fits

For at least 10 years I have had a thing called a 'Booster' fitted to my mouthpiece. This is supposed to make the mouthpiece much more solid and help you get higher notes??? To be honest I don't think it did, but I suddenly realised I could not do without it. Because I have now changed from a large bore instrument to a medium bore, the booster would not fit my new, smaller mouthpiece. With a bit of cunning, I found an old rubber washer at work. This was off a Daimler Hearse, and with a bit of cutting and reshaping it has made the booster smaller!!! and hey presto now fits the new mouthpiece. I wonder how many people in the world are playing on a Daimler Mouthpiece???

Journey

Our company will be carrying out the Funeral of one of the musicians that passed away last week. Our job is not easy at the best of time, and even harder when you know someone. However we have a great team and he will be given all the care and dignity that he deserves as we take him to his final resting place.
I had chance to talk to one of our regular members of the audience today. He took me into his office and showed me a photo he had taken of the Band on an outside concert. It made me wonder just how many pictures there are out there of us? After 13 odd years there must be loads, and it would be great to see some of the earlier one's (when I had some hair?? and less chins)

Alan Freeman

I managed to blow for 2 hours on my new bone yesterday, but it is still difficult to get used to, and probably will be for a while yet. It's ironic really, that I will probably get some real hard solo's in the other Band, and not play them as well ,as on my familiar bone. Trouble is you can't explain to the audience the technicalities of blowing a new instrument with a different mouthpiece. So I will just have to grit my teeth and bear it, if I fluff some notes!!!

They don't like it up em

Another early morning blog, and as I type this, I imagine most people are fast asleep?
Tonight's gig was a 1940s themed night for a Round Table charity. The room was decorated ala war time, and the menu was set to match. The main course was bangers and mash, interrupted with air raids, sirens and the wearing of Gas Masks (not provided for the band by the way, so we would all have perished) We started the night playing light background music, interspersed with updates on approaching enemy bombers heading for our coast line. We then took a short break, then continued with a celebration of music representing victory. I have to say at this point that I am disgusted with the amount of money some people charge to appear at charity events. There was one impersonation act that did no more than 20 minutes on stage and charged a fortune for there appearance. In fact ,if we as a band had charged per head what they had charged, you could go out and buy a top of the range car. The OBB prides itself, on being affordable to the majority of our clients, be it a church concert or a corporate function. We believe in bringing top class entertainment at a reasonable price, to all those who want to listen to great music and a fantastic dedicated Band. The OBB are a family of musicians, who strive to get it right every time, and I am proud of every one of them.

The Don

Our body clocks can be a pain in the rear sometimes. Got to bed at 3am and wide awake at 7am. Mind you for the last 15 years plus I have survived on 4-5 hours sleep a night anyway, so glad they are not stock-taking at work.
Sad news that 2 local musicians have passed on to the great big band in the sky. Our thoughts and condolences go out to their families.
Well after 30+ years of playing a Large Bore Trombone, I finally took the plunge today and purchased a medium bore, which I know will be easier on my chops, but will take a bit of time to get used to (hope it's not 30 years plus cos I wont be around then me thinks) It's funny, I remember when I was about 10 years old, walking through town to the local youth orchestra, Trombone case in hand, feeling as proud as punch. Today 40+ years on, I walked through town with a bone case again, feeling very self conscious that fok thought I was with the mafia? and carrying a sub macine gun.!!!!

Group 4

The more observant of you will notice this is being written at 2.30 am on a Saturday morning. Just finished a gig at 1am. Of course we then have to pack up, and travel home. which all adds up to a late night. The majority of us do not go to bed straight away, but sit up with a horlicks or a glass of something stronger to unwind. It was a great gig, but unfortunately one of the members of the Band misread the instructions, and although the Band were performing in Dinner Jacket...he turned up in full USA uniform. This was easily explained to the audience, in the fact, that as we had so many fans who tried to get onto the stage, that we had our own special forces security guard... I think we got away with it? (although he is 102 years old!) The Band were in hysterics tonight thanks to Andy the Drum. We managed to get a young lady on to the stage, who was wearing a very low cut dress, and had a very ample bosom. Just before we were about to play, Andy whispered to the Trumpets that as she walked up the steps to the stage, that it looked like Me and Dave the Trumpet walking side by side (we are both bald, so try and imagine that!!) They could hardly play for laughing.
My PC has been rebuilt with new hard drive and power supply, so hopefully it will chug along for a while yet. It all starts again in 18 hours when the OBB will be on the road performing once again.

I have a big one

I am typing this on an old steam driven PC I found in my loft. My real PC has been infested with something nasty. The PC Doctor came and took it away!!! Strange thing is, I knew the PC Doctor and he is a mighty fine Trombone player as well, in fact one of the best in the Midlands. We had a chat about the instrument I was playing on (and have for the last 20 years, apart from the gap when some lady!! sat on it) and he couldn't believe I was playing lead on a Large Bore Trombone. I told him that I could easily get top 'D's on it, but I did faint afterwards?? I think it is time to look for a smaller bore bone, and be easier on myself, but it will be quite scary to change...Anyway this blog might be a bit spasmodic until I get up and running again.

Easy PC

When will I ever learn to leave things alone, when they are running smoothly. I am typing this quick, because I have meddled with my PC settings and I am not sure now, if I have a rogue dialler installed. I will be back as soon as I have sorted it out. Doh!!!

Tsar very much

Got my head down and back into practice. Spent an hour on Russian Classics (That does not mean I play them fast because they are Russian!!) Been with Mussorgsky and The Great Gate and also Ripsky Corsetsoff Song of India, plus a bit of Borodin and The Virgin Dance !! (I know virgin on the ridiculous). So an hour flew by quite quickly. Mind you it would have gone allot quicker with a few glasses of Russian Vodka!!

Time after Time

There are still some, that think the OBB is my Band!. It isn't, but I have had the honour, along with others, of fronting it for many years. The band was actually created by a local chap, who still follows the Band's progress. Decisions about the Band's welfare, are therefore made my by a committee from within the Band, and majority vote etc. It is therefore ironic that we have become victims of our own success, in regards to playing our regular free Concert nights at the Oak. If anyone has seen the film Orchestra Wives, you will understand that behind almost every musician, is a good woman, who has a life to lead as well. It has become necessary to balance Band engagements, with family needs, and therefore has caused us to cancel some performance at our regular venue. It is unfortunate, but as I have been reminded recently, time is extremely precious with loved ones, and this should never be forgotten.

Lost

The last couple of weeks have been extremely difficult to say the least, and my faith has been tested to the full. I have tried to keep on top of things as best as I possibly could, so as not to let people down.. I managed to complete the show. although the stress of it all caused me to break out in a massive cold sore just where the mouthpiece sits. However through this I discovered a patch that covers the lip (musicians note) and sold at any chemist, which made things a little less painful. I wont give any details about the last few days, only to say that the world has lost a decent, caring hard working man, and I miss him terribly, and to be honest life will never be the same. Throughout this, the jobs have been pouring in for the Band, and in fact we have had to turn a few down!!!!!!. I went out today and bought some play along CD's for Trombone, to try and motivate myself back into practice, I hope it works. back soon.