Donkey

Just back from a great big adventure. After Band Tuesday I decided to pay some friends a visit in Blackpool. So down the motorway and found a boarding house. This was like stepping back in time as B and B's have not changed since the 70s. I managed to get a single room right at the top of the building. It was freezing as the heating did not come on until a specific time, and there was no override. Apparently the B & B would have disintegrated if they ha put it on an hour early!! There was no heater in the bathroom, so I had to wash and shave standing half in and half out of the Bathroom and Bedroom. It was about minus 2 in the bedroom but minus 10 in the Bathroom! I decided to get in as much as I could in the short time I had. So I went on a tram, down to the sea, in the amusements, into Louis Tussuad's, had fish and chips, visited numerous pubs, bought a kiss me quick hat (no one did?) had 4 beefburgers in one night, went to a show and fed a seagull phew. Had a great night with my friends and stayed in one pub, but there was to much to catch up on really. When I went to the show I had a chat with the MD. Turns out he had also played in the Tower Circus Band. he was dropped in it at the deep end. He was depping for a mate, but didn't realise some jazz was involved and suddenly he realised he had to stand up with a spot light on him, and give it some ad lib. He did it, but it was a steep learning curve. I love the sea, but old Blackpool is very very tired and dingy, so I am sort of glad to be home. That is until the next adventure???

stumble

Treated myself to a new play along CD yesterday. In my ongoing quest to play something that resembles Jazz, I have bought another tutor. That probably makes about 30 CD's I have now and still no nearer to the elusive jazz that I am attempting to create. I am fighting a head cold at the moment which is giving me some problems in decision making on a trip I am planning to make. Will explain more later.

Vacant

A bit of a surprise for our audience at the Oak last night (No Roy did not get his wallet out to show them. )They were entertained in the interval by 4 barber Shop singers. It would be nice to get local talent to come and entertain in the interval, so I will look into that for the New Year. I am busy organising the Band Xmas Social at this time, and collecting all the menu's etc and so far it is going well. Nice to hear that one of our oldest members of the Band has just got engaged. Hope for me yet then???

Back to the Future

Not sure what time it is, but it feels late. Most of my clocks have been put back an hour so I feel it is early but my body says it is late after the flu jab? Yes, it is officially winter time. We have just travelled ooop North to play for a Gala Night. I know I keep saying this, but it was a brill night and everyone was up for it. The Tuxedo ladies chosen by Dave the Trumpet were particularly frisky...wow we all had a thrill there. We also got bookings going into 2010 for wedding anniversary's. One of our deps even spent her 19th birthday playing with the Band, now that is dedication. We have been at this venue for a number of years and a member of the audience actually broke a bone dancing to the OBB in the early years, She really went for it and holds no animosity to the excitement we created on the dance floor ,that motivated her to do a full double back flip. My god she was in her 70s and keeps coming back. See what you are missing. Great night.

Cuckoo's nest

A poignant moment in town today. A Gentleman of the road! was always seen to be sitting outside the Marketplace. He would be sat against the wall ,coffee beside him, and a copy of the Guardian newspaper in his hand, doing the crossword. Often I passed him, and thought about giving him some money. He never begged and never borrowed of anyone. All that is there at the wall now are Flowers and tributes, as sadly this Gentleman passed away. I said that he was a Gentleman of the road, but it turns out he had his own house and a family! He would travel to town every day at 7am and sit at the wall, As well as solid structures, people can be landmarks as well, and he will be missed. Just wish I had bought him a coffee or something. so the message here is, never put off tomorrow what you can do today, cos tomorrow might change drastically!
Had my Flu jab today, and was asked by the nurse if I had a sore throat or cold or anything.....No I croaked, ah well it's in the arm now so too late. Actually it could all be down to a floral tribute that was placed in the Hearse yesterday. It was a pathetic specimen and the Florist had charged £100,. The chap was livid as they had stuck a few flowers into the oasis and sprayed them blue... It stunk and was a rip off for the poor fellow. I would not have given 50p for it.

Gull

Amazing, I have not had a cold for a whole year, and the day before I go for a Flu jab I get a sore throat arghhh. I scrounged the jab, as I have only had flu once and I never want it again, as i missed a whole Xmas of my life and could not eat. A double blow that. Will see how I feel in the morning. I was also hoping to make a surprise visit to the seaside and drop in on some friends but it will be a last minute thing. I love the sea, and the dream is that one day I will live there? But that is up to Camelot and 6 balls!!!

Planted

Had a call from a chap in Coventry last night, who is writing a piece of music as backing for a DVD celebrating the Malaysian Campaign. The music was in the 1940s style and will be a freebie to record. I said that when he knows what instrumentation he requires I would get back to him and approach our lads and lasses to see what we could do. He would record in Derby so no travelling involved and might be a nice project for prosperity.
I was reading the Kenya Times today ( one of our chaps had been on holiday there) They do not have an Obituary column, but it is called Transition? There are pictures of the people who have passed on, plus a potted history of there lives. The strange thing is, most of the people are buried in there back garden? That must be interesting when it comes time to sell the house. 2 up 2 down with Conservatory and Corpse!!!!

A few of our regular audience also listen to the Tuesday night Band. The overwhelming opinion about the guest vocal night, is we should do it twice a year!!!!! Very nice to hear this but I think we will stick at once a year only, as it takes some organisation to get it all together
. I was thinking about the last 14 years with the Band today. I figured it was just like building a house watching the Band grow from strength to strength. We started with the foundations, and gradually the house (Band) took shape brick by brick. Over the years there have been improvements and maintenance and sometimes there have been cracks appear, but with time these will and always can be repaired with the right tools and patience (And a sense of humour). So there you go, that's my deep and meaningful moment for this year!

Fiat Panda

I am still struggling with the old chops. I know it is only 10 days since the tooth went, leaving a hole the size a small village in Kent, but it is annoying that I start to slobber when I go for high notes? I have come up with a cunning plan to fill the hole with something, before I play tonight. Be it a marble or small car, but probably will be cotton wool. It is a case now of experimenting until I get it right.

Feet

Wow what a fantastic evening. At the Oak 8 very brave souls took the mic and sang there hearts out. A couple of younger chaps sang who I can only compare to Buble and they brought the house down. We even may have a new booking from a member of the audience on the strength of how well the Band played. It is nerve wracking for the Band as well, as they all want the singers to do well, and will do anything to try and keep them in time with the music. Everyone got through unscathed and also got a certificate at the end for there bravery.
On a different note, I opened the local paper today to find I had won the prize for top letter last week. You could have knocked me down with one of Roy's white fivers. A £50 quid prize for knocking up a piece of old tat lol.

Eon

I am feeling quite nervous myself about tonight. It seems an age since I have played with the Band and yet I have only missed a couple of gigs. But tonight is quite scary as no one knows what is going to happen on the Guest Vocal evening. We have some brand new singers and some stalwarts who sing every year. I am hoping there will be new people in the audience who fancy a go next year but I will have to wait and see. Watch this space.

nobody

I have been travelling around today looking for possible locations for our Xmas Meal. It's amazing the offers that are on with the credit crunch in full flow. I have learned that you can't please all the people, all of the time. But try my best to keep everyone happy (not an easy job lol)
Sat in with a bottle of beer and a ghost film last night. We used to do that every Friday night in the Army. Down the pub then to the take away and then back to barracks to watch a spooky film. One of our Barracks in Germany was definitely haunted, as it was in the grounds of the Belsen Concentration Camp. One night when alone and in charge of the Sergeants Mess and the Regimental Guard I was sat in the Duty Officers Room at 3am, when above my head came the sound of marching boots. The Mess was empty, and above me was the long attic that went the length of the block. Did I go and investigate? Did I heck, Even though I had my gun, I had seen enough horror films to know that you can't shoot ghosts!

Put in another hours practice last night, but still feels different. I may even look for a smaller bore Trombone at some point as I am still playing a medium large bore and I should really go to medium. I remember I went through a bad patch in the Army where I could not hit above a top G! Everything after that was fluffed ,so much so you became anxious about hitting any top notes. However these things take time and are not insurmountable. I always have believed, that all musicians should put the time in to understudy the stand above them, just in case they have to take over. I also believe, that although there are top class pro musicians out there, that everything comes natural to, there is no excuse for amateur musicians not to step up to the mark. I know that some players play once a week, put there instruments away, and do not take it out again until the next weeks gig. Don't get me wrong, some people can get away with this. More often than not though, your playing will suffer and you will be letting down the player above you. I know Bass bone players that are equally as good on 3rd and 2nd stand. This only happens because they have put the work in. But even though I have said this, if you have a great Band and it's success is partly due to the enthusiasm that spreads from the musicians to the audience, then maybe, just maybe everything is really fine.

Stokes

I have a bit of a reputation about writing letters to the local paper. In fact I have a file full of them, all of which I try to keep humorous. Just had another published about the poor 'Medium' show I went to last week. As yet there are no replies, but I have been expecting one morning to open my curtains and be besieged by the local spiritualist congregation. I once wrote about Flat Cap drivers, and ended up with no end of phone calls from disgruntled pensioners. Once I got them to see the funny side, I soon got them laughing. All I said was, that when a person drives with a flat cap it cuts the power to the indicators and the car will only travel at 29 miles per hour? Whats wrong with that? Tee Hee

Banana

As I said in yesterdays blog, I need not have worried about playing badly, as I did anyway. My top range is very poor at the moment and when my embouchure tightens it feels weird where the tooth was and the top notes are tending to split.. Now apart from putting a big sign on my head letting the audience know I had a tooth out, then they would have just thought, my he is cr*p tonight? more so than usual. I should have expected it really (and did) but I still hate failure. All I can do is try and get more time in and adapt to my new feel mouth! Oh and by the way, I got 2 solo's and both in the top range. The last number sounded great though, as in the audience was a top derby Trombone player. So I handed my bone to him to play the last number.

Refund

It would seem that the 'credit crunch' is starting to affect peoples head. We had a case today, where, although the Funeral had taken place over a week ago, the people decided they did not like the Church Organist, They thought that one of the deceased eyes were wonky? Plus ,although the jewelry was returned, they did not like seeing it on the deceased, even though it was on them when they arrived with us. This happens to coincide with them receiving the bill? Behind the scenes folk do not see the blood sweat and (well no tears) that goes on trying to make the family's journey easier. I have always said (and probably always will) that if 100 people were cheering and just one was booing, then it is the 'boo' you would here the loudest and remember the longest. I will never cease to be amazed with people who think they can take you for a ride, once the services have been delivered?
I rang up the leader of the Band for tonight's Concert, asking him not to put any solo's in as my gum is sore. He told me not to worry as he has only put 'Too little time' in. Ah well suppose I wont worry then?

Ho Ho Ho

I have to say, that as a Band we get some strange requests. Today though was the funniest. I took a call from a lady who had had our details on file for a number of years. She had our advertising material and wanted a Band to play in Birmingham in November. I went through my booking checklist asking all the usual questions until I got to the part of what the occasion was. It seems that she wanted a Band to march Santa around Birmingham???? I have to say I would have loved to have seen Andy the Drum pull his consul kit around the streets. We try our best, but on this occasion I had to turn the lady down. I suppose we could have dressed Derek the Bass up as an Elf. My gum has given me hell today. I suppose I should have listened to the Dentist and not blown? But what the heck!

Canvas

I can't wait 7 days to have a blow, so I am going to have a dabble this afternoon. Dave the sax has reported back on last nights gig which was a complete success. However, I am going to quash rumour control here. There is no truth that the reason a lady collapsed on the Dance floor was connected to Roy the wallet offering to buy her a drink?

Secret Santa

At this point in the year I have usually finished buying and wrapped my Xmas presents. However due to the circumstances at the start of this year, I have been putting it off. Made a concerted effort today though and blitzed the town. Had lunch and ordered soft food, and dribbled away in a cafe! The city was leaping with people and you could hardly move. A good selection of buskers in town, from Bagpipes to Violins. One day I am going to have a go at this if I can get a licence. Can't wait to get back to blowing, The Band are out tonight in the capable hands of Dave the Sax. I am spending the rest of the afternoon compiling the Guest Vocal night programme of which we have no less than 7 singists! Not to late if you want a go.

I pulled

Went to work this morning as normal but ended up in a flap as things were running late. It was a mad drive to Town and the Dentists. This was the day I had been dreading. Not only did I get 2 injections a scale and polish and a filling, he then proceeded to pull out my Wisdom tooth from my skull!! I would like to say that this was as hard to remove as Roy's wallet in a pub, but it was all done within 8 seconds? I then drove back to work. I was told not to blow for a week!!! ha no chance. As soon as the blood stops gushing then I am back on the old bone. I also have to eat soft food and cold drinks. So it is Mushy peas and Stella for the next few days. Stand back everybody!

Seek

Practiced for a whole hour last night. It will probably be the last playing I will do for a while? My partner has asked me if I will take a leader and some girls from the Girls Brigade in my Car to Alton Towers? I said yes on the condition that no one throws up, has a snotty nose or is giggly and irritating. I figure that will rule all of them out. A cunning plan what?

Gummy Bear

My feelings last night were, that they might as well rip all of my teggies out with the the way I played!!! I think I have invented a new musical term called 'Show Lip' to much straight playing and not enough flexibility work? My fault entirely but not enough hours in the day at the moment. Have written a letter to the local rag about Monday nights show? It will be interesting to see what response it gets, especially from the staunch fans.

Stokes

Last night, I joined about 500 people to watch a well known Medium on stage. I would like to say it was the most entertaining night I have had for a long time........................I would like to say it, but it wasn't. In fact I am glad I went, as it confirmed something I had thought for a long time. The mediums are feeding on the gullibility of folk who dearly want to contact lost relatives. It was dire and it was rubbish. At one point the Medium said he had a Sarah and a Minny with him. One old bingo girl stood up and said she knew a Sarah. The medium asked if she had passed on... the lady said no, but she drives a Mini... It's true. I was extremely disappointed. However, listening to the steadfast fans, some did enjoy it, but I have never seen an exit from a stage so fast, apart from when Eric had forgotten his Thermals. I do believe there is something after this life, but it certainly was not on the stage last night. I really believe I could have done the same job if they had given me a microphone. The only spirits we saw were at the bar.

Extra large

Dave the Sax is doing a cracking job of fronting the Band while I am away and I am really hoping he will take over the reins when I retire from the front of the Band and concentrate on playing. Tonight I am going back to the venue I have played at all last week. this time though as part of the audience. i am going to watch a well known medium who i have seen many times on the TV. I am really near the front, so if he picks me out and says he can see me surrounded by dead people, then at least he will be right as I am an undertaker lol. Will report on the show tomorrow.

Ships

Well the Carousel has stopped and it's back to the real world again. I have spent a fortune this week on parking, coffee and food and petrol but it is worth it for the experience. On the last night a guy depped on Bass Clarinet. It turns out that we had both served in the Army at the same time, and therefore must have passed each other on the counter march on Tattoo's. We figured that we must have both been on Cardiff and Colchester Tattoos. Also Berlin and the Royal Tournament in Earls Court. It really is a small world. Mind you he has done much better than me, and is living my dream by the sea!! Was I jealous....Oh yes.

Bear

I am half way through the DVD of the life story of Chet Baker. He died at the age of 58, but looked much older owing to his lifestyle. (I presume that is what Stella is doing to me??) The thing that put a problem of mine into perspective is, he had all his teeth knocked out in a fight?? Now here is me worried about one insignificant wisdom toothy, and old Chet still went on to play some great jazz with a mouth full of gums?
The second bone player in the show last night, missed the first half because of a major hold up on the Motorway. I was multi tasking for a few numbers, trying to put the 2nd bone cues in. I am a bloke and we are not supposed to do that sort of thing! that is according to women's logic?

Roundabout

I have really enjoyed playing in the show this week. Nice and relaxed. I even had time to read a book between numbers? I have seen someone that I know, every night in the interval which is always nice. Only a few more to go and then back to the real world.

Robert

To say I have been stressed over the last few days is an understatement. Despite spending hours on the phone to a call centre in India. Despite taking my PC to pieces and reassembling it. Despite at long last, having an Engineer call the darned thing would not work. The Engineer said they would have to send a new Hub out to me as it was obviously faulty. Now after the phone guy left, I went to the instruction manual. In it is a sentence in BIG BOLD LETTERS, saying on no account press the rest to default button. Now I knew this from the beginning, but with a new Hub winging it's way in the post I thought 'So What' So I pressed it...............................................................................................................and guess what...the bl**dy thing started working again? Now this is not the end of the story. Before my PC went kaput. I ordered a DVD on the Internet about the Life story Of Chet Baker (Trumpet) . The package arrived and as I excitedly opened it out fell a Playstation 2 game called Square Bob Sponge Pants??? I mean how the hell can you get something so wrong. Of course i had no way to contact them as they were an Internet firm. So basically I feel as though I have lost a large part of my life to this issue, so I am now going to sit in a darkened room with a moist flannel on my forehead and be back again sometime in 2012.

Orf

I am afraid I can't keep up this diary as my Broadband has bit the dust. I am writing this on another PC. I have spent hours on the phone trying to get the problem solved, but to no avail. I might be back, then again who knows?