Ozzy

I moved my holiday dates to play at the Concert yesterday. It was a Picnic in the Park and we did it a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, just before we were to go on stage, the heavens opened, and hundreds of people decided to leave for home as they were only dressed for the great British Summer. Although there were quite a few people left, we also had some 'Goths' that hung on to hear the Band? I was not sure how they were going to react, but I have to say, that they have restored my faith in the youth of today. I even got one of the guy's on stage to take part, much to the delight of his mates. He looked as though he had fallen face first into a fishing tackle box and he was dressed all in black. Very imposing but extremely polite and friendly. The whole show finished with a mighty blast of confetti shooting from the roof of the stage. Again the Band sounded superb, and people were dancing on the soggy grass to the sounds of the OBB.

The Hills have eye's

Played at a wedding last night. It was one of our Trombone players daughters who had got married. He has four daughters so he has really got to start saving up. It was the small Band and the sound was extremely tight last night. Usually at weddings you don't get that many dancing. Maybe a granny or a couple of kids, but last night was the exception and a really nice group of people took to the floor for most of the evening. On the way home, Doris, my Sat Nav, suddenly told me to take a right turn. It was pitch black and for once I listened to her. This took me down a track no wider than my car, and straight into a farmers field. I have to tell you now that it was like one of those spooky films , and I had to perform a 23 point turn to get out of their fast. I think Doris was having her revenge for me not listening to her last time?

Special eyes

My eyesight is definitely getting worse as I am almost having to sit with the Trumpets now to read the dots!. So I thought I would go into town and have my eyes tested. Seems that somewhere in this plan I was talked into having new frames and a pair of sun glasses. The ironic thing is, after I had said yes, I then had my eyes tested, and they hadn't changed!!! When you try new frames on , and you are shortsighted, how do you know what they look like on you? I had to depend on 3 complete strangers in the shop to tell me. If they did not laugh, then I presumed they looked ok? For all I know the frames could be pink and glittery!!! I am sure my friends will let me know the truth.

Hitched

No one can say that the OBB is not accommodating. Had a call from a lady who was very stressed because a Band had to cancel for a Wedding she was organising. This wedding is in 3 weeks time, so I am pulling out all the stops so hopefully we can stand in at the last minute and save the day.
I am still struggling with the old tummy even though I am watching my diet these days. There are some occasions when I dare not go for a high note!!!! We are coming to the end of a long run of Concerts and dances and I will be glad of the break to recharge the old batteries. However the gigs are still coming in for 2009 and onwards so we must be doing something right.

Vodka

All section musicians have their little foibles. I have studied musicians over the years and this is what I have come up with. When Saxoxphone players go wrong, they all go wrong together! If a Trumpet player hits a high note, the rest of the section will spend the next 10 minutes congratulating them. It is guaranteed that one of the Rhythm section will lose a piece of music, sometime during a concert or dance..Ah now the Trombones. Well from Army day's I always remember my Bandmaster chastising us bone players for rushing. I thought he has said Russian Trombone players, and we had to change our names to Vladimir or something. But no, he had it spot on. We do play things too fast sometimes, and especially if it is a difficult passage. I have been guilty of that for years, and it was noticeable on the CD the other day. So I need to slap myself with a bit of fresh celery until I get it right!!!! (Mind you I do that most weekends anyway!)

Take 5

A pro trumpet player had a blow with the Band last night. This guy has been all over the world and on TV playing with various big name Bands. He is such a modest bloke and fitted in straight away with the level of playing. No showing off , just tight solo and section work. It was an extremely enjoyable evening. I have also been sent photo's and sound clips from Saturday's concert in Thorpe. I will pass these on to Peter the Web and hopefully you will get to see and hear some of them at a later date.
P.S After listening to the CD I was extremely disappointed with my own playing. I am always critical of myself anyway, but that was not a good night for me. Sorry chaps.

Rest man

The following joke will only make sense to those with musical knowledge. It could been about any instrumentalist, but suits more a Trumpet player, of which it was originally constructed for. I promise to take the mickey out of us bone players at some point.


In an emergency a Big Band trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra. Everything went fine through the first movement, when he had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement he started improvising madly when he wasn't supposed to play at all. After the concert the conductor came round looking for an explanation. The Trumpet player said, "I looked at the score and it said `Tacit'--so I took it!"

Repeats

I have a list of 'fillers' that have been tried and tested to get a laugh. I could not understand though, why one of the best tags I used on Saturday at Thorpe, only got a mild titter!!! I found out last night at the Oak. It turns out that whilst I was out at the khazi, the chap performing on the Compton had already used it!! Must say the audience were very polite though in giving mild appreciation to something they had already heard? How embarrassing.

Solder on.

A fantastic night at Thorpe last night. Playing alternate spots with the Compton Organ. The organ is celebrating 70 years of entertaining people. It was a very responsive crowd, and some familiar faces from the Oak as well. A chap came up to me at the start and I recognised him straight away as a guy I worked with when I was an apprentice Engineer. He taught me all about brazing and welding and so helped me to become a Tradesman in the 70s. Also a few ex musicians in the audience. Their was a chap of 84 who offered to sit in on drums if our player did not turn up. Turns out he had his own Band at the Palace Hotel in Buxton many years ago. Their were also some great photo's of the Band displayed, that were taking at last years Concert, and I am hoping to get hold of a few copies so we can post them on the OBB site. I made a big mistake last night, of not following 'Doris' my Sat Nav. I thought I knew a quicker route than what she was telling me. Turns out, when I did listen to her on the return journey, I saved 15 minutes and 10 miles of fuel doh!!!

Detention

The Big Band is renowned for recreating sounds of the past, and if you enjoy listening to things from many years ago, then point your browser to radiolovers (.com) where you can listen to Glenn Miller and Artie Shaw plus many more, playing live on the radio (obviously they are not live now, but it was then!!!) Also on the site are links to comedy shows, and something I used to listen to when I was a lad. Jimmy Clitheroe, or the Clitheroe Kid , he used to make us all laugh. Even though he played a schoolboy, he was much older and I wonder if that's where the Krankies got their ideas from???

bellows

I keep getting told off by my partner for getting involved in situations that maybe do not involve me. For example if I see someone being bullied, be it verbal or psychological, or if someone is bad mannered, then I have to say something. Bad manners is something that really winds me up and today was no exception. I really am a mild mannered bloke until crossed. To cut a long story short. I was sent to a Hospital today an hour and a half before my finishing time. An hour and a half later we were still waiting to get in although there were no other vehicles before us. This Hospital is notorious for keeping people waiting with no apology. When we finally got in, we were messed about quite a bit. Unfortunately I did my best, but I had to say something. The person who I spoke to, stormed off and got her manager who then accused me of shouting at the other person. Luckily my work colleague was with me and confirmed that i did not shout. However the manager kept insisting that I had shouted. So it was then that the white mist took over and I gave them an example of what shouting was like from me (In my best Sergeant Major tone) Strangely I was then threatened with security being called!!! I felt that I had made my point, and felt allot better for it to. A strange day all in all, but satisfying none the less.

George Blush

Have to admit that I got as bit embarrassed today. Those that really know me, know that I am quite a shy person really.
I went for a coffee while I was waiting for a Funeral to finish. In the rest room were men from another company. Suddenly one started to talk about me and proceeded to tell the other blokes all about me being in the Army, a trombone player, and a bit of a comedian on the old mic!!! It turns out that he had attended quite a few concerts at the Oak (I did not recognise him with his clothes on!) and loved the Band. I don't know what to do with compliments (I usually get put downs) but thanked him for spreading the word about the OBB.
On checking my e mails today I have also had my access suspended from numerous banks, been offered Viagra and porn, and an offer to make my parts bigger!!!! It just shows you what scum bags there are out there in Internet world. Yet people still fall for all these scams, and it is usually the vulnerable. I would love an half an hour alone with one of these amoeba's in a closed room!!!

Cooper

Had a good night last night and thoroughly enjoyed the blow. A selection of Jazz and Ballads to play and Satin Doll as well. A member of the audience gave me a copy of Minnie the Moocher by the original Cab Calloway. He had written on it that the OBB version was better!!! I am not sure about that, but we can only do our best. Also a nice e mail from a gentleman who had not seen the Band for a number of years. He inferred that he was going to travel to hear us from now on, which is great, and marvellous to have new people on board.

Kiwi

Today went off to another company to do a Polish Funeral. It really is fascinating to see how different cultures say goodbye to their loved ones. Their was lot's of singing in church and at the graveside. Music plays such a big part in everyones lives. I have said this before, but if life had a soundtrack, it would be much more interesting. Not played as much as I should have this week, but the old tum still is not right. Hope I get an easy night tonight!!

zilch

This has been a nothing day, so I am writing nothing!!!!

Duffle

The weather stayed fine last night for our annual outside Concert at the Oak. The car park was full of people who had brought their own deck chairs and blankets, to listen to two hours of great music. As the evening went on it gradually got colder, and the Band started to wear various over coats, apart from Dave the Bass bone, who braved the whole evening in his Band shirt. A great night was had by all.

Thread

Don't panic Mr Mainwairing.... Unfortunately people are, because of a Fuel Tanker strike. So running on fumes I had to trawl around a couple a petrol stations until I could find one to fill up. Their were people filling up spare cans as well as their cars. It may come to a time that we will all have to cycle to a gig. I feel sorry for our drummer if this happens. Watched a bit of Trooping the Colour today. The Massed Bands carry out a complicated manoeuvre called a 'Spin Wheel' I did it once in my Army career, but have no idea how it worked, or indeed how I got to the position I was supposed to be in? I was wondering, that if our Band had to march and play, how many could do it. Roy the wallet has partaken as have a couple of the bones. Maybe we should put together a display team with Eric as our cheerleader!!!!

Titanic

Couple of messages on the answerphone when I got home asking if it is our Nunsfield Dance this weekend? They are going to be so disappointed, as it was last weekend. Also had a phone call from a chap who wants to film the Band at a gig we are playing at later this year. Most of it can be used on the web site, so no doubt you will get to see it at some point. The weather does not look very promising for our outside concert this weekend. Why can't we have summers like we did in the 70s? It was so hot then us kids used to save up for an ice cold Tip Top or Jubbly. Usually we would tear the top of the Jubbly open and then the idea was to squeeze gently until some of the Orange Iceberg came out ready for eating? Invariably we would squeeze to hard and the whole thing would shoot out and land on the floor. We would still eat it though, grit and all. Oh those were the days.

Irritable

Many years ago I could eat absolutely anything, with no ill affects. I used to go to restaurants in Germany and order off the menu, not even knowing what I was going to get. I got a surprise once when a complete 'Blue Fish' lay on my plate with head and eyes and fin attached. I ate it though. Seems these days though my stomach just will not take anything out of the ordinary, without me paying for it!!!One has to trust in the doctors in the NHS (No Hurry Service) that it is what they say. So from now on I am sticking to conventional wholesome food, and see what happens. As the doctor once said to my old deaf granny. "You have got acute angina' and she replied "Thank you very much"!!!!!!

quick quick slow

All solo's were in second half last night. One piece I was looking forward to, had a small Trombone cadenza at the end of the vocal number. Unfortunately the drummer decided to slow down at the end and the Band started to fizzle out a few bars from the end. Not to be outdone and lose the cadenza, I kept counting and played it!!! All on my own mind you, but I was determined not to lose it, even though it was a bit naughty of me ;-). Also did the builders song 'cement all over you'. A good night all in all.

Nettle tea.

When I got home from work I thought I would take an hour or so sitting in the Garden to look at the 25 types of weeds I have lovingly cultivated. However after turning the PC on and seeing how many ooooh-mails I had to answer, this plan soon went out of the window. We are coming up to a very busy time now, and I am trying to get all the information through to 17 different individuals of the Band as to what we are wearing, timings, set up times and which cardigan Eric has to bring etc. Today we did a Funeral and a few members of the Syd Lawrence Orchestra turned up. Turns out the person who had passed on used to make sarnies and tea for them on tour? Syd's Band was one of the first I saw live at the Kings Hall when I was a lad, and he made such an impression on me. Although long gone, the Band continues under his name.

Three

Having spent hours cleaning the mud out of every nook and cranny, the Band turned up gleaming, to play at Nunsfield house. It was, as usual a great night, but we had to slow some of the tempo's down a tad as it was such a warm night. In fact it got up to 23 degrees last night, which for a man of my age, is pretty impressive!!!

Ooooh Arghhh

Tonight's gig was almost a replay of Glastonbury. A couple of the Band had gone on ahead to set up and realised that there had been a substantial amount of rain, making the ground a quagmire of mud. They rang around the band asking them to come wearing wellies. I have to say that our two lovely ladies of the Band looked a picture in dresses and wellington boots. In fact rumour has it that Farmers weekly have asked them to pose for pictures in between an article on artificial insemination for Bulls! and the Chicken problem page? Ah show business. Have to say though that once again the floor was full from start to finish, and we have been booked again for a gig later in the year. One of the acts tonight had also appeared in the Oscar winning Film Atonement. The OBB rubbing shoulders with the stars now!!!! By the way if you want to see photo's of our girls in wellies I am sure they will appear very soon on the OBB web site. Tonight we had a young lad help the Band out. It was his birthday and he had reached the grand old age of 8. We got him to help the Band with a number, and for a few minutes he was the star of the show. I am sure it is something he will never forget, performing in front of a huge audience. What a fantastic experience for a young chap.

Size matters

Received car passes and instructions for a gig we are doing later this year. Some passes have to be handed on to members of the Band who have large instruments, (oooh err missus.) as these get you nearer to the stage to unload. The rest have to walk from a car park a distance away. Their is bound to be a fight as to who has the largest!!! Mine extends to 5 foot so I should definitely be in the running!! Good job we don't have a piccolo player?

Dimock two

Those who are following all this drivel, may remember that I thought I may have killed my bosses prize Begonias? Turns out that they are the best he has ever had, and better than a relatives of his, who was most impressed when she saw them. ??? Maybe I am in the wrong business then. My partner asked me last night, that if I won the Lottery would I still love her? Of course I replied. I would miss you, but still love you!!

package

My neighbours went away on holiday the other day, which meant I could play without a practice mute in. A rare treat indeed, and I actually got some recordings done. So one of the first things I would do with a lottery win, would be to buy a detached homestead. Although a practice mute does tend to build your lip up, there is no substitute for open playing.

Amnesia

I enjoyed playing last night. My lip was in and for once felt good. Only had a couple of solo's though. Because the pad is so big in this Band some musicians take their pads home and just bring the prog for that night. Unfortunately the pianist brought the wrong programme and had to busk the full concert, which I might add, he did expertly. No one in the audience noticed. Don't think us bones would have got away with it, quite so easily though!!!

Balls

It's strange, one moment your head is full of things to say on stage (hopefully) and you are running around like a man possessed, and the next moment you are back at work with absolutely nothing to do to stimulate your grey matter? It really is both ends of the emotional scale? If we are quite I can normally go into the Garden of Reflection and do some work, but not today as it has never stopped raining, so we have all been stuck inside trying desperately to find little jobs to do. I am more happy with my bone in my hand than a hammer and screwdriver, but as always it must just remain a hobby. Unless of course lady luck lets me win the lottery!!! and then boy do I have plans ;-)

Hi de Hi

A full house at the Oak last night where the audience were treated to a wide range of music, from St Louis Blues to Minnie the Moocher? If you are reading this and have never been to see us, then you don't know what you are missing. The Monday morning feeling was worse today as we had such a great weekend and the Band were on great form.

Tea Bags

Nice gig near to Twycross Zoo last night. A 50th Birthday party on a Farm. This was the finest Marquee the Band have ever seen. With chandeliers, stage and carpets etc and all within a Barn. In fact it was smarter than my living room (but that's not hard). A bit slow to start with and we had to result in bribery to get the Dancers away from the Bar. But as always, by the end of the night, the Dance floor was heaving. There are only a couple of people in the Band who can get away with wearing beautiful dresses in the Band, they are of course Michele and Julie and of course Roy the wallet. Both ladies looked stunning last night, and made the rest of the Band's night. We are coming up to an extremely busy time now, which is all down to the Bands musicianship, professionalism and enthusiasm which always spreads to the audience.